Posted by layo on
Wednesday, 21 November 2007, 13:44For those who want to know, I go to Brunel University in West London, staying in St.Margarets Hall which was built last year. Like many uni's Brunel blocks most games, except for WOW as the staff are addicted to it. At Brunel university there is a gaming society known as "B.U.G.S" (Brunel University Gaming Society) and only the super elitely cool higher echelon of the social ladder are allowed to join... These guys were cunts to me when I tried to get them involved in unblocking games for students in halls, I even had to go to a meeting where about three guys talked to me, and one guy had actually brought his laptop into the student bar and was playing some old version of Hitman - terror error by that guy. So I had to do it myself, it's taken a while as most of the time IT technicians are pretty clueless.
Here's the steps I had to go through to unblock games.
1. Find the people you need to talk to
I managed to email three people who didn't care / had nothing to do with unblocking ports and have done nothing but made myself look like a complete tit in their eyes. WP layo.
2. Be polite and ask, "Is this some kind of mistake?"
Degrade the people you are talking to in the most polite way possible, as it is their fault entirely that you are not playing CS. By making it seem odd that the uni blocks CS they might think they're behind on the times and might review their standing.
3. Blag you're pro!
As far as my uni is aware I have been to CPL twice, and went with Splatio and the rest of Reason-Gaming to Singapore for WCG 2005. I have won £10,000 and my mouse, mousemat, 3 sets of headphones, monitor, graphics card, CPU and case were all free as I was asked to review them for money and got to keep them.
I managed to impress them with my facade of pro-ness, I made myself look like a Don, and an expert on gaming. So later when they ask you what games to unblock first etc you can say CS.
4. Cry like a bitch
Yep, they wanted me to do a petition and a whole load of other bollocks I just clearly wasn't going to be arsed to do. So I made up that I was massively stressing out without CS (which I suppose I was but my me-time hand usually cleared that up). I begged and pleaded with the guy I was emailing to just "unblock it for me". Fuck the rest of the halls, if my room can be unblocked then that's all I care about as I'm putting in all the effort. This ethos is sick. You may find out that ports are blocked on a room, flat or building basis, sadly for me it was by building.
5. LIE, LIE HARD
If they don't flatly refuse you, tell them that you have a petition with "ABOUT" X number of signatures, and that you have gone around your halls talking to each flat and a lot of people are interested. Lie and say you actually did all the things below. This for me is where shit started falling into place, as I have just emailed them with the UDP and TCP ports that I need unblocked for Steam, and a range of Ventrilo ports.
Just so people know, I got an intranet email from these guys before I did some of this stuff below but I didn't read it, so I put a load of effort in that I shouldn't have. Don't make the same mistake.
6. Put up posters
I put up a few posters about getting Steam unblocked to increase pressure, maybe other people would email the IT department, I have no idea if they did. The point is it raised the profile of my "campaign" and while most of the geeks and filth that play CS only come out for food or lectures, all of them had to go through the main hall and out the front door - which is where I laid my mind ambush. You want to make it look retro, include stuff like XBOX Live as thats kind of cool.
Sadly I was gay enough to put my email address on it and got a few emails from I'm guessing super hot women who also play CS. Don't do this, it makes you look hypergay.
7. Going around with a petition is lame, post it up
I got a picture of a NES controller, some information about unblocking ALL games (not just Steam) and next to it a table with Signature, Name, Flat/Room. I put it up in a really obvious place and even left a pen for people to use. My flatmates decided to write "Because it promotes terrorism" and next to my signature "is a nob", which was gay. I still got a load of signatures, last night it stood at 32, which in a hall of 200 is probably enough to get them to unblock games.
8. Go around with the petition, prepare to have no friends
If the petition doesn't work, it's going to be hard. You'll have to get a massive amount of signatures and just keep piling on pressure. This means you'll have to go into every halls, speak to every wierdo, and look like a cunt the entire time. If someone came up to me and said "can you sign my petition to unblock games" I would still spit in his mouth as he was speaking even though he was helping.
9. Make a stall in the main campus area
Get the freaks, make t-shirts, and buy megaphones because you're going to have to fucking march on the IT department to unblock games. Aside from violence or legal action that will fail this is the line. If you can manage to get people to physically go to the IT department or whoevers in charge it just might be enough to show the management you mean business and if games don't get unblocked you're going to go Columbine on their asses.
I severely doubt anyone at uni would do this, because if you want to have sex for the next 3 years marching for online games will pretty much ruin any chance you had - unless they're fat slags.
If you manage to get games unblocked at uni, well played. Its not just something that will benefit you, it's something that will benefit everyone for many years to come. You might just be seen as the losers saviour, so get ready for some pity sex.
Hail fat slags. Yeah yeah
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